Having a job in the public eye, has been an interesting development for this mum. A few years ago, being in front of audiences, would have been the last thing on my mind. I hated almost everything about myself. People would pay me compliments but they never ever, penetrated my skin.
I would let them ricochet off immediately and then mutter to myself “If you really knew me, you wouldn’t say that.” I didn’t understand at the time, that they did know me, they just didn’t know the secret pain I was in.
This mission I started, of helping others identify, understand and address significant life struggles and addictions (The HOPE Project) born out of my own journey and triumph, has been overwhelmingly embraced. Everyday I meet people, who say to me, “Six !! You, have 6 children? You don’t look like you have 6 children”. What am I ‘supposed’ to look like?
Those who know me well, know, I have had a weight loss journey over the past few years. Others gasp when I tell them that I was 30 kgs heavier. People then inevitably ask “How did you do it? How did you lose 30kgs?”
People ask me “Did you cut out sugar? Gluten? Carbs?” I say “No!” They look at me perplexed.
So I tell them, firstly I shed a whole heap of shame and fear, then I added some self esteem.
I then cut out some very toxic relationships and environments. Next I added the courage to be vulnerable, without concern of judgement.
I cut out unrealistic expectations on myself and others and I added extra kindness, in the way I approached myself and my needs and that automatically increased my ability to help others.
I focused on mentally restoring myself first, then the physical restoration followed.
This massive change in my life didn’t happen overnight and it has been achievable and sustainable, because I didn’t try and tackle everything, in my life that needed work, all at once. It was about making small shifts in my thinking and the way I was living day to day.
I practice daily self care and self awareness, so I am prepared for whatever challenge comes my way. I act intentionally and not reactively. I am at peace with who I am and I am very comfortable with being perfectly imperfect.
I am grateful for today and don’t postpone my happiness to tomorrow.
I gained and developed a deeper understanding, about my journey, of trials and brokenness and I had to process and deal with all that had been.
I shed regret, once and for all.
I wasn’t expecting it, but the thing that I am most grateful for, is the immense compassion and heart I have gained, for helping others in pain.
There are no magic pills or quick fixes, just empty promises, designed to keep people on the treadmill of overwhelm and in the unconscious fog of just coping. We are not here merely to survive we are suppose to thrive.
No sustainable change happens overnight, except, a shift in thinking. To decide to love and not loath yourself.
I love what I do.
I help reconnect people, I connect them with their humanness and liberate them from the isolation of shame and fear.
I share the pain, I experienced, so that others might be able to understand theirs and begin their own pathway to freedom.
The weight I lost is irrelevant, but the significance of it, is vital. Its merely a reflection of how a persons inner transformation, can then ultimately effect their outward self. There is no, perfect weight, size or shape to obtain personal happiness. The moment I forgave myself for the mistakes I had made and reclassified them as learning. I was free. I was happy then, 30kgs heavier and Im still, just as happy now.
