What I do for a job, (helping people overcome or prevent addictions and struggles – The HOPE Project) puts me in the public eye. Everyday I meet a whole lot of people who say to me “ Wow YOU have 6 children, you don’t look like you have 6 children.” What am I ‘supposed’ to look like?
Those who know me well, know, I have had a weight loss journey over the past few years. Others gasp when I tell them that I was 30 kgs heavier. People then inevitably ask “How did you do it? How did you lose 30kgs?”
People ask me did you cut out sugar? Gluten? Carbs? I say no! They look at me perplexed. I tell them firstly I shed a whole heap of shame and fear, then I added some self esteem.
I then cut out some very toxic relationships and environments. Next I added the courage to be vulnerable, without concern of judgement. I cut out unrealistic expectations on myself and others and I added kindness in the way I approached myself and that automatically increased my ability to help others. I focused on mentally restoring myself first, then the physical restoration followed.
This massive change in my life has been achievable and sustainable, because I didn’t try and tackle everything in my life that needed work, all at once. It was about making small shifts in my thinking and the way I was living.
I practice daily self care and self awareness, so I am prepared for whatever challenge comes my way. I act intentionally and not reactively. I am at peace with who I am and I am very comfortable with being perfectly imperfect.
I am grateful for today and don’t postpone my happiness to tomorrow.
I gained understanding, about my journey, of trials and brokenness, I shed regret, once and for all. I wasn’t expecting it, but the thing that I am most grateful for, is the immense compassion and heart I have gained, for helping others in pain.
There are no magic pills or quick fixes, just empty promises, designed to keep people on the treadmill of overwhelm and in the unconscious fog of just coping. No sustainable change happens overnight except a shift in thinking. To decide to love and not loath yourself.
I love what I do.
I help reconnect people, connect them with their humanness and liberate them from the isolation of shame and fear. I share the pain, I experienced, so that others might be able to understand theirs and begin their own pathway to freedom.
The weight I lost is irrelevant, but the significance of it, is vital. It’s merely a reflection of how a person’s inner transformation can then ultimately affect their outward self. There is no, perfect weight, size or shape to obtain personal happiness. The moment I forgave myself for the mistakes I had made and reclassified them as learning. I was free. I was happy then 30kgs heavier and I’m still just as happy now.